If I haven’t been transparent enough already, I’m really going to be transparent now. Here goes…I struggle in my faith on a daily basis. Sometimes on an hourly basis. And I can’t help but believe that some of you are in the same boat.
I know that I belong to God and I love Him with my whole heart, but it is hard. It is hard to go against my natural, sinful self. It is hard to want to keep moving forward in my relationship with God, yet I get in my own way time and time again. I have been following God for almost 40 years and have known of Him my whole life. Yes, I had times early on in my faith where I had been the prodigal, but I always came back to Him.
I recently heard an interview with Mike Weaver, from the group Big Daddy Weave, and he said something that stopped me dead in my tracks. “His love is not based on my ability to get it right for Him.” Oh man! I know this! I really do! And I so needed to hear it. No matter how much I fail Him, God still loves me. Nothing I do, or don’t do, changes His love for me.
There are also so many times that I read my Bible, and I get nothing. Don’t get me wrong, there are many times that I learn so much. But my pastor said something this morning that also stopped me. I am paraphrasing here, but he basically said that you aren’t going to get great revelations every time you read the Bible. That was so freeing for me to hear. He did go on to say that reading the Bible day by day will make your spiritual life stronger and down the road you will have greater understanding (again, I’m paraphrasing). So, it’s okay that the heavens don’t part and the angels don’t sing when I am reading God’s Word. It’s all right that I don’t have deep theological thoughts whenever I open my Bible. What is important is that I keep on reading, that I keep on learning and that I keep on growing and moving forward–even if it is inch by inch.
I have learned that it is okay to struggle. This means that I am growing in faith and am not stagnate. The struggle means that I am not content to stay in my sin. The struggle means that I am gaining a deeper understanding of grace.